Assalaamu'alaykum! Peace be upon you!
As you can see, my last post was over a MONTH ago! I told you I'd struggle with posting regularly. I must say though, I constantly have blogging ideas and things on my mind that I want to write about. Finding the time to do so, is a whole other thing though unfortunately! Alhamdulillah (Praise to Allah).
Subhanallah by the end of this Ramadhaan, I really felt that it just absolutely flew by. It almost seems that each year this blessed month comes and goes quicker than the last. A sign of the times, many might say, Allahu A'lam (God knows).
The usual way that Ramadhaan starts out is that no matter how aware you are (prior to the month) that it is coming up, it still manages to sneak up on you and you feel you're not 'prepared enough'. At least that's how I often feel. The result of your conceived 'lack of preparation' is that you might feel panicky and anxious about the upcoming month a few days before. I often wish I could have so much more organised and ready so that I can get the utmost benefit out of the month and focus ONLY on my worship and Ramadhaan routine and fasting. But sometimes, you've just got the get through it with the best preparation efforts that you've managed to make.
The first day, your body experiences the shock of a day of hunger, thirst, lethargy and headaches as your body adjusts to the fasting and 'detoxifies'. By the end of the first week, you've kind of got the hang of your new routine as the headaches and lethargy subside and you actually start to feel good. Your efforts and worship are accelerating and the sweetness of the month begins. By the middle of the month you are quite comfortable in your routine and your body is feeling in a relaxed state as you get into the Ramadhaan 'high'. As the last week approaches you increase your efforts and focus with the hope of catching Laylatul Qadr in the last 10 nights. (I pray we all caught that night and are rewarded accordingly Inshallah!). Then the familiar feeling of panic returns in the last few days however this time it's not worry about not being prepared enough, rather it's the feeling of sadness like a close companion is about to leave. You've now just spent 29/30 days and nights with a totally different routine & focus and you now fear going back to the 'old' routines and habits. Let's pray that we make the most out of this month each time it comes and that Allah blesses us with the chance to worship Him the next year, Ameen!
Alhamdulillah for the happiness and business of Eid, as it manages to drown out these feelings of sadness at the departure of Ramadhaan. It's funny how at the beginning of the month of Ramadhaan you never expect to feel so sad about not waking up for Suhoor and fasting the day & praying into the night once the month has passed. Yet we experience this same cycle, often year after year Subhanallah. For me personally I hope to be super dooper prepared for Ramadhaan next year and I hope to spend the two weeks beforehand in getting myself organised and clearing out my schedule so that I can just 'be' in the month and savour every day, hour and minute of the blessed month.
How do you usually feel at the beginning and end of Ramadhaan?